A client once told me: On paper, I should be happy. I’ve got the career, the friends, the recognition. But it feels empty.
That line stayed with me. I know that feeling can be real for many of us.
It's the reason I started politicwise, first interviewing those in politics, now writing a newsletter:
A happy life is not the same as a meaningful life.
A successful job is not the same as your life's work.
Recognition for yourself is not the same as contribution to others.
That’s the gap I wanted to explore. Because when we confuse happiness with meaning, or success with service, we end up focusing on the wrong things. And even when we get them, the emptiness doesn’t go away.
This week, my own self-experiment felt quiet: no big breakthroughs, just reading Emily Esfahani' Smith's book 'The Power of Meaning'. And it reminded me how critical it is that what we each find a meaningful answer to the question:
What truly matters most - and why?
My experiment this week helped me see that meaning can help you answer that question, in two ways:
Don't confuse happiness for meaning
Know the four sources of meaning
Happiness vs. Meaning
Happiness is about feeling good. Meaning is about being & doing good.
Happiness is tied to hedonia in Greek philosophy: pleasure, ease, comfort. Epicurus argued that happiness was the absence of pain and the enjoyment of simple pleasures. We often chase that today: comfort, recognition, good feelings. And it works until it doesn’t. Happiness fades the moment circumstances change.
Meaning, by contrast, is what Aristotle called eudaimonia: flourishing through virtue and alignment with what is larger than yourself. The Stoics later deepened this perspective: for Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius, the good life was found not in pleasure or success but in virtue, inner freedom and remaining steady regardless of external circumstances. Centuries later, Viktor Frankl, captured it in modern terms: people can endure almost any how’ if they have a ‘why.’
The difference matters.
If your goal is to ‘be happy,’ you’ll avoid discomfort, challenge, and responsibility, the very places where meaning often grows. Meaning isn't something you chase as a goal. It comes as a byproduct of leading a life of belonging, contribution,
Four Roots of Meaning
In 'The Power of Meaning', Smith describes four sources of meaning:
Belonging
Purpose
Storytelling
Transcendence
These four show up again and again in psychology, philosophy, and the way people casually talk about life.
Researchers studying resilience, for example, highlight the importance of close relationships (belonging), purpose beyond the self, coherent life narratives, and experiences of awe or spirituality. Ancient traditions echo the same themes. And in everyday language, we often say things like “I just want to feel part of something,” “I need to know this matters,” “I’m trying to make sense of it,” or “That moment took my breath away.”
Different words, same ideas. These roots keep surfacing because they point to something essential. You don’t need all of them at once, but the deeper they go, the steadier you stand, especially when life feels uncertain.
Belonging
Belonging is about being truly seen and valued and seeing others in return.
More than just about having people around you, it’s about mutual recognition. It's the sense that “I matter to you, and you matter to me.”
In politics, this is often overlooked. The work is so fast-paced, so public, that relationships can slip into the transactional. But one genuine moment of recognition, a heartfelt thank-you from a supporter, a text from a trusted friend, can outweigh dozens of surface-level interactions.
Purpose
Purpose is about contribution.
Achievements are measurable and visible: the promotion, the win, the result. Purpose is quieter: serving something larger than yourself, even when nobody notices.
Last week, when I worked on my purpose, mission, and vision, I noticed how it grounded me. Every small task in my day had a thread connecting it to something bigger. Even when I was just answering emails, there was a sense of serving, not just “getting things done.”
Storytelling
We create meaning through the stories we tell about our lives.
The same facts can lead to very different conclusions. Losing an election might be framed as “I wasn’t good enough.” Or it could be “I learned what it takes to stand up for what I believe in.” The question is: are we telling a story that traps us or one that frees us?
Being able to tell the story behind your work is powerful. It becomes a magnet that pulls others in. It's also an anchor that keeps you steady when things get hard.
In my podcast interviews for politicwise, I noticed how often people’s stories carried this weight of meaning. Many were what psychologists call 'redemption stories': moving from something difficult or broken toward something better. Those arcs inspire others while giving the storyteller a deep sense of coherence about why their work matters.
Transcendence
Then there are the moments when the self dissolves, and we feel part of something vast.
It might be standing under a night sky, losing yourself in music, being moved by art, or sitting quietly meditation. The research on this feeling of awe is fascinating.
Transcendence doesn’t come on demand. But when it does, it widens our perspective and puts our own struggles in their place. For leaders who are constantly pulled into urgency and detail, that perspective is oxygen.
Together, these four roots are where meaning grows.
So here’s a reflection for you this week:
Which of these four feels strongest in your life right now?
Which one is missing?
And if you want to run a self-experiment: choose one pillar and notice when it shows up. Each evening, jot down a single moment that fed it. A kind message, a task that felt connected to something bigger, a reframed story about a setback, a glimpse of awe under the night sky.
What’s holding back your focus?
Find out with this diagnostic I often use with my coaching clients. It lets you know where your focus is strong and where it slips.