Clarity on what matters most... is at least three things:
Foundational: what matters most in life
Systematic: what matters most over time & space
In-the-moment: what matters most right now
This week of my self-experiment, I realized clarity happens on these three levels.
It was an eye-opener to see that focusing on the first two levels comes easily to me, whereas I had put little thought behind what it means to know what matters most in the moment.
Let me walk you through each level - and what I learned.
Foundational Clarity
This is about life direction: knowing what matters most to you in life.
It’s the deep work of purpose, mission, vision, values, regret. It’s where knowing the four roots of a meaningful life can help.
I still remember the types of questions my first coach asked me: What do you value? Who are you? Who are you becoming? What's your legacy? It was all about foundational clarity and it had a big impact on my life.
Yet, this type of work is not a one-off. Foundations grow, emerge, transform. And so sharpening the saw is what we keep doing over a lifetime. How?
One way: a yearly retreat. A friend of mine does this for a few days every year: away from the noise, reviewing the past year, journaling, and asking:
Who do I want to become?
What does my life stand for?
What’s worth my limited time and energy?
I plan to do that too. Because when you do this kind of work, write it down, and speak it out loud… it feels like an inner fire. A compass you can carry everywhere.
Systematic Clarity
If foundational is about direction, systematic is about architecture: knowing where to direct your focus over time and across the different areas of life.
This is where the big picture meets planning, calendars, debriefs. For me, it’s my weekly planning ritual. Every Friday or Sunday evening, I remind myself of my foundational clarity, ask what it means for the next week, translate it into priorities for the week, and schedule time for them.
The second piece is reflection. In that same session, I look back at last week and ask:
Did I live up to what I said matters?
What did I learn about myself from where I fell short?
This rhythm builds a bridge between the foundations and the gritty reality of life.
The temptation here is to stop. You’ve got the foundations. You’ve got the system. Feels like enough. But it isn’t.
In-The-Moment Clarity
This is the hardest, and the one I’d neglected.
Life doesn’t play by our plans. Interruptions happen. And most interruptions don’t come from things, but from people. When you rigidly stick to a plan, even if thought-through and aligned with what matters to you (the one you develop as part of systematic clarity), you risk treating people like obstacles rather than relationships that make life worth living.
You planned 3 hours of deep work, but your daughter walks in…
You have a strategy session scheduled with your partners in 5 minutes, but your 1on1 with a colleague who’s highly frustrated needs more time…
In-the-moment clarity is about choice: knowing what to do right now.
One part is asking yourself in the moment. A couple of questions I find helpful:
What’s the right thing to do?
What values apply here?
How does someone like me act right now?
What’s asked of me?
Sometimes it’s a simple yes/no. But often it feels like a dilemma. Do I say yes to the urgent work request, or do I stick to my plans with friends?
When that happens, the second part is: stepping back and instead of forcing a choice between two bad options, ask: What’s a third way? This also includes not taking the obvious options at face value. You might ask: Why is this request urgent, really? What if I didn't do it? Who else could take this on? What's the cost of saying yes - and of saying no? How can I honor both my commitments to my work and my friends?
The last part is taking courageous action. Why courageous? Because in-the-moment clarity rarely points to the easiest path. It can mean disappointing someone, saying no when it would feel safer to say yes, or yes when it would be more comfortable to hide behind your plan. It means risking friction, awkwardness, or even failure in service of what matters most.
This kind of clarity in-the-moment is powerful:
It's where clarity becomes a way of living
It's fully seizing the space between stimulus and response; not reacting, but choosing purposefully
It’s knowing things won’t always go to plan and measuring success not by every box ticked, but by whether you chose consciously and acted with courage.
Clarity is a layered practice:
Foundational clarity gives you direction: the fire that keeps you moving.
Systematic clarity gives you structure: the rhythm that keeps you steady.
In-the-moment clarity gives you choice: the courage to live what matters right now.
So here’s what you can try. Take a moment today and ask yourself:
Which level of clarity comes most naturally to me?
Which level of clarity would change everything if I strengthened it?
That’s where your next step lies.
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